Thursday, June 12, 2014

Continuation of my soul

...I know that everything happens for a reason and I know that God knows me and has a plan for little, tiny, insignificant me! So we sent an email back to our BM telling her how we felt. She did not respond but we heard that she had decided on a different couple and that everything was good.
So for the second time life went on. We republished our profile on its about love in August of 2013. In the following months I struggled with up's and down's and Brad managed to comfort me and help me hold myself together on the downer days. Every time I started throwing myself a pity party he would snap me out of it. So by January I was becoming comfortable with just being patient and letting life take its course (see my January 13th post). Now this is proof that God has a sense of humor and never let's you get to comfortable because literally TWO DAYS after I posted my January post we were contacted by a second birth mom! Her name was Kellie and she was due the first of May and was having a boy! We were thrilled and I of course dropped my poker face and started gearing up for round 2! Now here is where I believe God really has a sense of humor! THAT SAME WEEK we were contacted by another birth mom!!!! Holy $#i%!!! We didn't even have time to get our profile down and put it on hold! Five months of waiting and then wham bam! Geesh! Our 3rd birth mom's name was Jen and she was due the end of August. She did not know what the babies gender was yet because she had contacted us earlier in her pregnancy. Now Jen wasn't 100% sure she was going to place soooo we decided to pursue both. I was really excited to possibly adopt both babies 4 months apart! Irish twins.... wahoo!!!! We ended up telling Jen right away about Kellie because 1. Kellie was very sure she wanted to place 2. She had contacted us first, and 3. She was due first. We were thrilled when Jen didn't change her mind and was okay with us wanting to adopt both babies... IF she decided to place. At this point we did not want to tell Kellie about Jen because 1. Jen was not sure 2. We didn't want to jeopardize our adoption with Kellie if Jen wasn't sure, and 3. Jen was due 4 months after Kellie so who knows what could happen.
So everything is going great I started making a baby boy quilt and buying all these cute clothes and books/toys for a little boy! Kellie was 100%. She kept telling us that she wanted to get the paper work done now before she went into labor so I was not worried she would change her mind at all. We had planned on meeting her the first of April and I felt like we were good to go.
For those of you that don't know I am an esthetician, and February through the first of June I am SLAMMED with clients. It is chaos during this time of year. I am really busy with work, and a lot of our friends and family start getting spring fever and wanna head south to the warmer weather for a visit (don't get me wrong cuz we love visitors). Add all of that to Brad starting a new job and it was MADNESS! We were traveling up to SLC like every two weeks there for a while and I guess I didn't contact Kellie enough because a few days before we were suppose to meet her in April she decided she didn't want to meet us and she was backing out! :'( Her reasoning:
She didn't think we were excited!!!
(Okay I am really gonna try not to swear) WHAT THE HELL?!? That was a low-blow-kick-in-the-gut!!! Are you freaking kidding me right now?!?!?! Obviously she was very young... and didn't understand how heart wrenching it was for us to hear that she didn't think we were excited enough. I guess the pictures I sent of the cute little baby boy outfits, and the nursery, and the fabric for the baby quilt I was making were proof to her that "we weren't excited". Is it so hard to just say "I decided not to place my baby"? That is totally fine to say those words, but to turn it around and blame us was very upsetting and wrong in more than one way. We were devastated! And I tried reaching out to her four times by pleading with her to reconsider. Unfortunately we never heard anything in reply. I still don't know what happened. I think I'm still spinning from that!
Okay I'm sorry but I must go to sleep... Stay tuned cuz there's a whole lot more! Holy crap, I should get paid for this! I couldn't make this up if I tried. Famous last words before the crap really hits the fan eh? Ha!

posted from Bloggeroid

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